Newspaper

My mind feels like a newspaper printing press, with the words and pictures rolling by so quickily they are unintelligible.  So I don't think I can give you a story this month. 

God's Provision

It has been over two months here and no rain.
It is a hard time for the subsistent farmer, for
my friends down in Ita Angu'a. The cotton's
growth stunted by lack of water forced bolls to
open too soon and too small. Soy beans dried in
the fields before they could even bloom, let
alone bear fruit. A tired despair of sweat and
dust marks the faces of the men who wait... and
wait.

This is the season for what would have been the
cash crops, the crops that would have put a
little money in the pockets of the poor. Money
to buy paint, fencing posts and wire, money to
buy a new pig or something special for the kids
and the wife. Money that would pay for needed
medicines and funerals in the comming year. But
now nothing.

Our Wednesday Bible study was subdued. Only
stars in the early morning sky, no sign of rain
and another day to wait. As I prayed with the
couples and they shared with me the way things
were, I said sometimes it's hard to understand
what God is doing, how a growing season that
seemed so hopeful could end so miserably.

They said, "Not at all!. God allowed our corn
and manioc root to survive and we will have
plenty to eat until the next harvest. And the
money for taking care of the family...God will
just have to provide some other way." Tired
smiles and nods of agreement that express both
faith and hardship were passed among us.

Rain has come, but it came too late. Pray for
these hard times.

Ernesto's Baptism

Ernesto Mesa is a 65 year old man with Rheumatoid
Arthritis who suffers from internal bleeding
from a stomach operation that never healed
properly. He has a hunched back and now is
unable to walk. He was nearly killed by a
severe bout with the flu.

He also loves the Lord and has rejoiced daily
for many years in knowing his Saviour. Up until a
few months ago, before the flu, he would hobble
around Ita Angu'a with his cane in hand, telling
anyone who would listen about the love of Jesus
and their need to repent and come to Him.

One day before we moved to Villarrica Ernesto
was baptised.

Carried in his bed down a foot trail that his
boys had widened with machetes for this very
trip, lifted over a barbed wire fence and
maneuvered through a small forest, and finally
placed by a small stream where his friends and
family were waiting, Ernesto, half grimacing
from the pain of his arthritis and half smiling
for joy, sat as two Paraguayan pastors and
myself sang songs and preached on baptism.

After one more song we lifted him from his bed
and carried him into the water where, in a
whisper of weakness and pain, he gave his
confession of faith and was baptised.

We returned him to his bed where he sat with
dignity, knowing that in this too, he had obeyed
the Lord.

God Said Move

As I talked with our Acting Field Director here
in Paraguay, he related to me his concerns for a
young, first-term, missionary couple that was
under incredible stress.

Left to pastor a growing church and direct a
small school with no other missionaries to help
on site, they were at the point of calling it
quits and heading back to the states.

When I hung up the phone and told Kelly the
story, we both felt an overwhelming burden for
this couple, and we asked God if He might want
us to go help them. The Lord impressed upon us
that it was His will to go.

We will be trimming back severly our ministry
here in Ita Angu'a as we will be moving to
Villarrica. Villarrica is where Kelly and I
first worked with youth and helped plant the
very church this young couple is now pastoring.

"Had we heard the Lord clearly on this
decision?", we wondered. A confirmation that we
had, came after spending only 3 hours in
Villarrica looking for a house.

A member of the church in Villarrica is going to
let us use for free his fully furnished house.
This house has everything all the way down to
silverware. We will basically just walk in and
settle down. In that same three hours we were
also given the use of a car for free. PRAISE THE
LORD!

Pretty Mundane

10 hour layover in Bolivia
flight delayed
then cancelled
24 hours in a hotel
4 hour flight
4 hours by bus
2 hours by car to Ita Angu'a
sleep
one day of ministry
sleep
6 hours by car to Asuncion
7 days in bed with intense fever and headache
dinner out with SIM chaplin
7 1/2 hour bus ride back home to Ita Angu'a
"ready to roll"

Sometimes it's pretty mundane,
just like that.

My Pistol

As I practiced some Guarani and had my quiet
time with the Lord, I heard a pick-up truck go
by our house on the dirt road. I thought it was
odd that someone was out so early, but I also
knew someone had been stealing cattle from the
farmers around our house. So with that a made a
mental note of the sound of the truck and the
time; 3:15.

I decided to ride my horse to my discipleship
meeting because it had rained the day before,
and the horse was a lot more sure footed than me
on muddy roads.

I was on my horse and on the road when I heard
the sound of that same pick-up, this time coming
towards me on the road. I could see it's lights
sweep out on the forest trees as he rounded the
last corner between him and me. Then with his
high beams on he came up the road and stopped
about 15 yards ahead of me.

My horse tensed up under me, and he was not
liking the bright lights. I was not likeing
the fact that these may be armed men who had
just stolen a cow! I turned the horse to the
side and as I did I heard the truck door open.
I couldn't see a thing beyond the trucks lights.

I thought about my options. Run? They'd catch
me. Ignore them? They still might shoot me,
because I'd seen them. Bluff? At the time I
thought this was the best option. I pushed my
shirt-tail to the side and reached back to my
right hip, acting as if I had a pistol holstered
at my side. (Many men travel with pistols on the
roads at night, so this seemed like a reasonable
bluff.) So with my pretend pistol held at the
ready, I stared them down. And waited for their
next move.

Their next move was to get back in the truck and
move towards me. I held my ground, ready to
pull my finger out, and use it if I had too.

As they passed they yelled out my name and began
"whooping it up" and laughing. They were all
friends of mine, going to an early morning
agricultural meeting. They knew me well and
knew I didn't have a gun to my name. They had
been watching me and laughing the whole time.

3:00 AM Bible Studies

The alarm goes off at 3:00AM, and I'm actually
getting used to it. Twice a week, and soon 4
times a week, I'll be getting up at this hour to
go to Bible studies with some key men and their
wives. These are the men I think that God will
use to continue His church while we're gone to
the States for a year.

I'm out the door and 4:00 and then the 45 minute
walk on a star lit road, next, a nice shortcut
through some very dark woods and I arrive at
Maximo's house. From a distance I can see the
firelight escaping from between the slats of his
cooking room.

He's been up with his wife for a while, talking
about the kids and the crops. They invite me in
to a small wooden room with a fire burning in
the middle of the floor. A blackend aluminum
tea pot sits among the coals. We sit near the
floor on low, short benches and drink hot tea,
chatting about how dry it is, how hard the
ground is, and and how the birds ate his first
planting of corn. Soon he'll say, like he
always does, "Let's go brother and read God's
word"

We walk about 50 yards to His father's house
because he has electricity for lights. Maximo's
mom hurriedly swats at the table with a rag to
clean off the dust and then reverendly puts down
a table cloth where I will set my Bible. It's
time to pray and get into the Word.

Today's lesson is about John 1:12, 1 Peter 1:3
and John 10:28. Maximo struggles to use his
pencil which is barely an inch long, his
handwriting and spelling are like that of a
second grader. Later I will work a little in the
fields with him, clearing brush with a machete or
hoeing weeds in his field. Then it will be me
who works like the second grader. In the field
Maximo will guard my pride and encourage me in my
work, even though I am slow and weak. Now, I
will encourage him.

Pencils, hoes, and machetes are but rough and
primitive tools compared to the Word of God and
the work it is able to do. We are not asking
God to change our handwriting or our fields, we
are asking Him to change our hearts.

The sun has yet to come over the horizon, but it
is light enough to be in the fields, so Maximo
must get on with the work of feeding his family.
As I rise to leave, we pray that God would
continue to guide us, and we pray for rain.

I love this man, and how I love to see him
growing daily in his knowledge of the grace of
God.

Being Foolish

"Get ready to feel foolish." That's one of the
things I'd tell people if they wanted to
minister in a rural area of Paraguay. I grew up
in a suburban neighbourhood and my contact with
life on a farm has been limited to "hogs" and a
couple of friends with 4-H projects. Here in
rural Paraguay there is a whole body of knowledge
which it seems everyone knows, except me. Here
are a few examples of my "foolishness."

If your going to hang meat outside over night,
hang it REALLY high. Dogs can jump over six
feet to rip a bag and get the prize. (Recently
lost 24 pounds of beef by hanging it too low.)

Chickens only look fat, but are able to
squeeze through seemingly impossible spaces.
(After loosing all my beets to a marauding
band of neighbourhood chickens, due to improper
spacing of picket fence boards)

You don't try to cook a whole 64 pound pig
over an open fire. (Pigs here are raised for
the fat that can be rendered from them, and so
nearly 32 pounds of pure fat dripped into the
fire, worth about 5 days wages for the men in
our village.)

Don't ask someone what time you are going to
light your self on fire. (A language slip up
when I meant to ask What time we are going to
start the fire.)

My egos can get bruised pretty easy when I
forget that who I am is defined by Who I know,
and not by what I know. When we feel foolish,
inadequate, or out of place, my we all find
comfort in knowing our Lord Jesus.

Rolf and the Joy of Giving

Rolf is a German baker, who was won to the Lord
by the patient discipleship of our former
co-worker Mark Johnson in Villarrica.

Last year when Rolf heard that we needed a place
for our next youth camp he volunteered His
property as the site. He has a small farm where
he used to raise cattle and raises pigs and runs
his bakery now. When we agreed to use his
property, he went into "high gear".

He tore down the infrastructure of his milk barn
to make a dining area. He emptied his feed
mill and storage area to make a place for the
girls to sleep. He felled a 20 foot pine tree to
use as the center post for a huge 45 foot in
diameter building with a thatched roof which
would serve as the main meeting room.

He built bathrooms, installed showers, and lit
the area completely with florescent lights.
Except for about 80 dollars, all the expenses
were paid for out of his pocket.

Everytime I would see Rolf, I would tell him he
didn't need to spend so much to improve the
property. He always answered the same way.
With a broad smile and a "bear hug" he would say
he loved to do these things and if just one
young person came to know the Lord at camp it
would all be worth it.

Rolf knows the joy of selfless giving.

Our Car Was Stolen

Apon waking this morning I found that our car had been stolen.  We have reported this to the police and informed our neighbors. Our greatest treasure continues to be Jesus Christ and we know that God has a purpose in everything he allows to happen to those who love Him.

It will truely be a miricle if our car is returned to us.  Many are stolen, few are ever recovered.

The Man and the Machette

Unlike the city, there is very little night life
in the village where we live, and even less
movement when it is pouring down rain. However,
it didn't stop the two men who were calling
outside our front door on this particular night.

The men were soaked with rain and had been
running for about 3 miles to get to my house. A
friend of theirs had slipped and fallen
backwards onto a machete he was carrying in a bag
on his back. They said he had lost a lot of blood
and needed to go to the hospital.

We got the men some towels and jumped in the car
to go get the man. The roads were not pretty
and the man who had fallen lived in a hilly
area, so we were unable to make it all the way
to his house. I stopped the car and turned off
the lights and immediately we were surrounded by
the blackness of the night. In the distance,
from the direction of the injured man's house I
could see the light of flashlights bobbing up
and down as they moved closer.

As the lights got closer I could see they were
carring the injured man on a cot type bed. The
man was on all fours like a dog and his fingers
gripped through the strips of raw hide that
laced the cot's surface. He grimaced as they
sat the bed down. The machete had been driven 3
inches deep underneath his shoulder blade.

The rain poured even harder as we left for the
hospital, but we arrived with out incident.
After the doctor cleaned and sewed up the wound
we started for his house. I felt the road back
to his house was now impassable and didn't know
what to do. Then about a 1/2 mile from his
house the man said that he could not ask me to
take him on such a difficult road and told me he
would walk the rest of the way.

In the heavy rains and darkness my headlights
barely reached 20 yards and the barefoot,
shirtless man quickly faded from view as he picked
his way down the path looking for the best
footing.

I will visit this man in the coming weeks to see
how he is doing, read the Bible and invite him
to our men's Bible study on Saturdays.

Mourning and Communittee

"Oh, Tomas!", a woman mourns, as she hugs me and
meets me at the gate of her sister's house who
had died 9 days ago. It is the last day of 9
days of reciting the rosary, and it is time for
the "Tupa Mba'e".

This is a meal that is served to the people of
the community in honor of the person who has
died. Traditionally the meal was served to gain
God's favor on behalf of the deceased loved one
in order to help him move out of purgatory and
into heaven.

To many the traditional reason has been lost,
and it is now done as a community service.

I am here at the request of the family, and
after shaking 30 men's hands, I am seated at the
table in front of an alter adorned with black
cloth, flowers, candles, and a picture of the
woman who has died.

The meal starts with a beef soup, followed by
another kind of soup with spiced corn dumplings.
In turn another plate with rice and milk is
served for dessert. It is almost more than one
person can eat.

While I eat inside the house, some 350 other
people are being served by family and friends
outside in the yard.

When our meal is done, we stand together behind
our chairs and recite a Catholic prayer. I am
asked to lead the prayer this time, but have to
tell them I don't know the special prayer. An
older man tells every one that I will pray in my
own way. After nods of agreement all around I
pray for a blessing on the household and thank
God for the food.

I go back out into the yard to shake more hands
and chat with people. I sit next to Juanita, an
old woman whose son died in my car last year as I
rushed him to the hospital. I put my arm around
her as she cries and remembers her loss.

Three and half hours have past and it is time to
go home. Being part of a community means
weeping and rejoicing with those who live around
us. It means giving to the needy and receiving
the generosity of these same needy people.

Stuff on the porch

We get many things left on our porch at night,
and they're left for many reasons. We have had
vegtables left in order to thank us for some
kind thing Kelly and I had done. We have had
puppies left because they were so sick that
nobody wanted them. But recently we had our
biggest suprise yet.

We told you last prayer update that our house
had been broken into twice while we were away,
but we didn't tell you that they stole both our
digital camera and our video camera. This was a
discouragement to us because both of these
things were purchased with special gifts that we
had recieved from supporters. We knew that God
had provided and God had allowed these things to
be taken from us.

Well, the other morning we opened our front door
to find both cameras in a plastic bag on our
porch.

The people around here say the thieves
"repented". I think that's a pretty good use
of the word. They not only felt sorry for what
they had done, they changed the way they were
going by giving back the stolen items.

It remains to be seen if the cameras are in good
working order and it remains to be seen if the
thieves will repent of their "sins" and not just
of their "sin".

Horse Ridding

I had never ridden a horse, before a couple of
years ago, and I still am no "cowboy", but I
want to be!

Up until a few months ago, getting on my horse
meant finding a chair, putting it down near
where the sturip hangs and climbing on board
with the prayer that my horse would not begin to
leave without me. Oh, but now I was an
accomplished rider and could mount up with little
problem and no chair. So I was ready to perfect
my mounting technique.

I had been watching some old "Bonanza" episodes
and was impressed by Hoss Cartwright's ability to
get on his horse with such gracefulness, even if
he was a big man like me. So I determined to
try out his style the next day.

Foot in stirup, then a small hop, a big push, a
graceful arc of my leg over the back of the
horse, TOO MUCH MOMENTUM, and over the other
side of the horse I fell. There, rolling away
from seemingly bigger than life size hoofs, I
realized I was no Hoss Cartwright.

Great adventures and occasionally bad mounts,
that's missionary life.

God's Word

A priest in our area told his followers that the
only reason people come to the Bible study at our
house, is because we give out money. This has
had two contrasting results. Some people don't
come to the Bible study because they are cynical
about missionaries who just give out money to
gain followers. And some people come to the
study because they just want money.

We don't give out money, but are charitable in
other ways. It is however, these kinds of
misconceptions that we come up against, and the
very reason we spend so much time developing
relationships with those in our communittee.

As our friendships grow with our neighbors, they
become our advocates before those who say things
that aren't true. These same friends are more
open to God's Word because they see that we
speak the truth and then walk it out in front of
them.

Putting together a lesson

As I put together the lessons for each Saturday,
I first do the Bible Study, then write it out in
English, and then translate it to Guarani.
During this last step I often ask a Paraguayan
to help me. One week I was working on the story
of Joseph from the Old Testament.

This week my helper was our maid, and as she
fixed the noon meal, I told her how Joseph fled
from Potiphar's wife. I asked her if she
understood, and she said yes, but she thought it
was odd that Joseph was a homosexual. She
arrived at this conclusion because no normal man,
that she knows, would ever reject the advances of
such an agressive woman. After explaining to
her that he would not sleep with Potiphar's wife
because God did not want him too, she said, "Oh,
you better make sure you explain that."

When we got to the part of Joseph interpreting
dreams, she recognized this "profession" right
away and told me that there were people who study
and use books to interpret dreams. After probing
a little more, I discovered that these people are
basically witch doctors. Once again I explained
that God had directly given the interpretation of
these dreams to Joseph and that he used no books
nor studied to interpret dreams. She said,
"You'd better explain that too."

A culture that venerates vice and witchcraft
needs these stories and the stories of God's
working in our lives to see that there is a
better and right way to live.

Toribio

I am always so impressed with the sacrificial
service of so many Paraguayan Christians that we
have the privilage to work with. One such man
is an evangelist named Toribio Franco. He was
asked to be one of our speakers at youth camp.
Like many pastors in Paraguay Toribio also has a
full-time job. After working an 8 hour day he
rode 3 hours by bus and another hour and a half
by car to get to the site of our camp. When he
had finished speaking he then turned around and
made the 4 1/2 hour trip back home in order to
be at his work by 6:00 the next morning. As
missionaries we are only a small piece in God's
plan for Paraguay. The greater work He is doing
through men like Toribio.

Wilfrido

Wilfrido was a 32 year old man who died in my
car as we raced from Yuty to a hospital 2 hours
away. I have been with several people at thier
deaths, and it is never the phisical aspect of
the person dieing that leaves an impression on
me, rather it is what happens spiritually. I was
present when Wilfrido stepped from this life into
an eternal life of torment in Hell, for he did
not know the Lord. As his mother wailed with
sorrow and his cousin shouted in anger at having
lost a friend, we made the hour trip back to his
house. Waves of deepest sorrow flowed over me and
I wonder how many must die, before the Lord will
give us our first convert here in Ita Angu'a.

Two days later while at a Catholic prayer
service for Wilfrido, a neighbor lady came and
asked me to read the Bible with the greiving
mother. I was able to talk about the importance
of not only having faith in times like these, but
to have faith in the right thing, or person, in
this case: Jesus Christ.

Death is real, but our Lord gives victory over
even this. Plead with us before the cross, for
the many in Ita Angu'a and the surronding
communites that do not know Jesus.

Many months ago when we closed the youth center we knew it was God's timing, but we did not know all the reasons He seemed to be leading us down this path.  We can now see it was the begining of a transformation.  God is transforming Kelly and I in the most radical ways.

First our marriage of 9 years is being transformed.  And we are closer to one another than a year ago.  We spend each morning in prayer together (unless I do something crazy like drive 10 kids to Asuncion for the night and return at 3:30 in the morning!)  and are ministering to each others needs better than we ever have.  Kelly feels more part of my ministries because we are praying about them and I feel more a part of her ministry in the home as we lift these things together before the Lord.

God is transforming our priorities.  As we grow in our understanding of the unspeakable treasure we have in Jesus Christ, many things are falling by the wayside.  Things that seemed so important have grown dim as they are placed beside the glory of knowing Jesus in a deeper way.

Ministry "activity" is falling by the wayside,  as hours spent in uselessness for the Kingdom are now filled with more time to be with people, pray and share the Word.  It is a simplifiying of what I used to call ministry and it is really getting back to the basics.  Abide in Christ, and the fruit will come.  May the desire of my heart be more of a reality each day.

Kelly and I have realized we have been placing far to great a priority on insuring our own comfort.  Is Christ enough?  Indeed!  As we grow in our dependence on Him we see that comfort is less of an issue and that after all our heavenly Father know far better how to comfort us than we do ourselves.  How many times in vain have I tried to fill my life with the world's "trinkets",  seeking comfort and yet pushing myself away from the very thing my heart cries for: "A peace that passes all my understanding"

We are being transformed as we learn to trust in God in new ways.  You might think that the life of a missionary is, of course,  a life of trusting in God, and I tell you that it can be, it should be, but it is not implicit in the job description.  We have so foolinshly denied God opportunities to glorify Himself in our lives and ministries because we are masters at "making things happen" , "getting the job done, no matter what it takes", and "robbing Peter to pay Paul".  We call Him Lord, but we have learned He has not been in far too many areas of our lives.  Kelly and I are longing to see God glorified as we stop leaning on our own understanding and begin to .acknowledge Him in all things.

Our desire is singular.  It is to know the Savior in a more deeper way.  We do not know where this leads and we do not care.  It is not a carefree attitude of a fool, it is the knowledge of the freeing truth that  if we are found in Him, even in the darkest moments, His discipline and guidance will be our comfort.

I said we are being transformed,  and this is a process unfinished.  What I've said is just as much our prayer for the future as it is testemony of what God is doing now.

The Youth Center Closes

After more than 5 years serving the youth of Villarrica, I believe it was God's will that we close the youth center.  This has been one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in my 13 years as a youth pastor.  To answer the question why, is to take you on a spiritual journey.

About 3 months ago at a spiritual retreat for the missionaries here in Paraguay, the Lord began to convict me of my lack of intimacy in my relationship with him.  Over the course of the previous year I had let activity in ministry slowly become a replacement for an intimate walk with the Savior.  Because so much of what I let define me are my activities, I was deceiving myself by thinking buisiness was Godliness.  At the retreat I finally became contrite and submissive enough to hear what God had been trying to ask of me all along.  The speaker at retreat gave each of us a little card called, "My Convenant" which challenged us all..

MY COVENANT

Lord I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes and accept Your will for my life.  I give myself, my life, and all, utterly to you to be Yours forever.  Go on and on filling me with Your Holy Spirit.  Use me as You will; send me where You will;  work out Your whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever.

I wish I could have said, I had been living such a covenant, but I had not been.  I knew that I needed to change some things and so I began to pray and seek His will.  Through many confirmations the Lord lead me to close the youth center and re-examine all that I have been doing here in Paraguay for the last few years.  One of those confirmations came one morning as I prayed and read the Scriptures in my devotion time.

"If a man abides in Me and I in Him, he will bear much fruit, apart from me he can do nothing"  This verse is found in one of those particularly difficult passages to understand, and I don't claim to have the ultimate word on its interpretation, only that the Lord used this verse in my life in a particular way.  The words "much fruit"  and "nothing" were those to which the Lord drew my attention.

Where was the fruit from the youth center ministry?  Since it's opening there had only been a handful of young people that had made a commitment to Christ.  This was fruit, but not "much fruit".  I believe now that this is due to the fact that I was doing almost "everything" apart from Him. 

When the youth center was founded it was done so with much prayerful consideration, and dependence on the Lord for His direction, but somewhere along the line I let routine become the guiding voice and I let self confidence replace a dependence on Him.  For these things I am deeply repentant.

I'm trying to live out a surrendered life and ministry to Him once again.  I'm asking the Lord, what's next, and waiting on Him.  I do know this; that the "Lover of my soul" wants a deeper relationship with me.  And I do know that the secret to fruit bearing in ministry and in my walk with Him is in direct proportion to my yieldedness to Him.

May we all continue our journey with the Lord Jesus with the freshness and utter dependence on Him that we lived out when we first came to know Him.