Thursday, February 15, 2001

Many months ago when we closed the youth center we knew it was God's timing, but we did not know all the reasons He seemed to be leading us down this path.  We can now see it was the begining of a transformation.  God is transforming Kelly and I in the most radical ways.

First our marriage of 9 years is being transformed. And we are closer to one another than a year ago. We spend each morning in prayer together (unless I do something crazy like drive 10 kids to Asuncion for the night and return at 3:30 in the morning!) and are ministering to each others needs better than we ever have. Kelly feels more part of my ministries because we are praying about them and I feel more a part of her ministry in the home as we lift these things together before the Lord.

God is transforming our priorities. As we grow in our understanding of the unspeakable treasure we have in Jesus Christ, many things are falling by the wayside. Things that seemed so important have grown dim as they are placed beside the glory of knowing Jesus in a deeper way.

Ministry "activity" is falling by the wayside, as hours spent in uselessness for the Kingdom are now filled with more time to be with people, pray and share the Word. It is a simplifiying of what I used to call ministry and it is really getting back to the basics. Abide in Christ, and the fruit will come. May the desire of my heart be more of a reality each day.

Kelly and I have realized we have been placing far to great a priority on insuring our own comfort. Is Christ enough? Indeed! As we grow in our dependence on Him we see that comfort is less of an issue and that after all our heavenly Father know far better how to comfort us than we do ourselves. How many times in vain have I tried to fill my life with the world's "trinkets", seeking comfort and yet pushing myself away from the very thing my heart cries for: "A peace that passes all my understanding"

We are being transformed as we learn to trust in God in new ways. You might think that the life of a missionary is, of course, a life of trusting in God, and I tell you that it can be, it should be, but it is not implicit in the job description. We have so foolinshly denied God opportunities to glorify Himself in our lives and ministries because we are masters at "making things happen" , "getting the job done, no matter what it takes", and "robbing Peter to pay Paul". We call Him Lord, but we have learned He has not been in far too many areas of our lives. Kelly and I are longing to see God glorified as we stop leaning on our own understanding and begin to .acknowledge Him in all things.

Our desire is singular. It is to know the Savior in a more deeper way. We do not know where this leads and we do not care. It is not a carefree attitude of a fool, it is the knowledge of the freeing truth that if we are found in Him, even in the darkest moments, His discipline and guidance will be our comfort.

I said we are being transformed, and this is a process unfinished. What I've said is just as much our prayer for the future as it is testemony of what God is doing now.